Why I’m not a Vlogger

A couple of weeks ago when I got my invitation to come to San Francisco to be a part of Benefit’s biggest global event yet I knew, right then and there, I had to vlog the entire thing. The boyfriend and I hopped into the car, drove to the nearest camera shop and quickly went home with a stunner of a camera. Little did I know that this camera would just end up being my boyfriend’s new camera, ’cause there was no way on Earth I’d ever vlog with it…

I’ve been a YouTuber for over 5 years, so I see trends come and go. I remember when the term ‘vlogging’ started becoming a thing. Normal people film their days and share it with the internet. These normal people quickly become stars. Often a lot of Beauty Gurus create a second channel and upload their vlogs there. That was the intention for my second channel TVNikkie as well. However, I haven’t uploaded a video on that channel for over a year and why that channel still exists is a pure mystery to me.

Just 2 days after buying the vlog-camera, the boyfriend and I go to Paris. The idea of vlogging the entire trip had haunted my brains for hours by then. So, the next morning, there I am: 5:30 AM, looking like utter shit with a brand new vlog-camera in my hands. I take the cap of the lens, fire the camera up, press record and aim for my face……“Hey…hello” I randomly mumble. “So…..hi.” is a little more mumbling I get out. The boyfriend obnoxiously bursts out laughing. I try to keep my true devastation in control: this is not gonna work.

We arrive in Paris and quickly decide that the vlog-camera will now function as taking-pictures-only camera. I put the idea of vlogging the Paris trip to rest and enjoy Paris to its fullest. That’s it. Donzo. Until San Francisco popped up…

The sleepless nights with that little voice in my head saying “Nikkieeee, you have to vloooooog!!” come back haunting me. And that’s when I come up with the perfect solution: What if you don’t film yourself looking like shit in the morning, but just the fun playful parts. Parts that people will love to watch? Yeah, Yeah! I can make that happen.

I pack my bags for San Francisco and safely put the camera in my suitcase. “See you in San Francisco, little guy!” I whisper at him softly. Ah, great! Finally, a solution that works. 12 hours later I arrive in my —too gorgeous for words— hotel room, unpack my stuff, take a long shower and put my face on. Great, nothing is stopping me from vlogging now!

I fire the camera up once again, aim for my face and before I press start, I just give up already. No, no, no and a little more no on the side! Vlogging is just not for me, and here’s why: I’m tall, way too tall. I already gotta deal with that. There’s this constant pressure of always looking—somewhat—good. I’d be the awkward Dutch girl, talking English around her Dutch friends. My boyfriend likes to keep his life outside of YouTube and last but definitely not least: At the Benefit event there was a fortune teller and she told me my intuition is strong, is right most often and that I should always follow it. Guess what? my intuition tells that little-vlog-voice inside my head to shut the hell up.

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18 Responses to Why I’m not a Vlogger

  1. Tessa says:

    Hahaha leuk

  2. Bojoura says:


  3. Mireille says:

    Goedzo! Ik kan als ik vlogs kijk alleen maar denken aan het idee dat ze midden op straat staan te praten tegen hun rechterhand..Ik zou iig niet graag naast zo iemand in de trein willen zitten. Lekker in je eigen kamer blijven filmen hoor!

  4. krisindasky says:

    You just wrote what I’ve allways though! I could NEVER videotaped my whole day… ’cause then I’d had to edit the thing, and wait for it to the render and the upload time… UGH! and do that again tomorrow? COME ON! Too much work, and when are you gonna live?. Keep it simple Nikkie… But for the love of God, don’t quit YouTube! You are the best…

  5. Sharon says:

    Nikkie, I don’t know how many times I have experienced exactly what you just described! Every vacation I take I get the vlogging jitters followed by guilt at not doing it! Some of us just weren’t meant to do it! Thanks for posting this, I don’t feel so bad now! xx

  6. Monique says:

    Geweldig! Ik vind het idee van vloggen ook raar. Beetje rond lopen en tegen een camera staan praten. Nee doe dan maar een samenvatting! :p

  7. Paula Lima says:

    Hiii Nikkie! I’m brazilian, and I have to say that you are my favorite Beauty Guru EVER! Since I met your blog, I’m always visiting here to see if there’s any new posts. You’re so funny, and true. And this post is exactly how I feel filming anything, just not vlogs! I’m a makeup artist too, not as good as you, but anyway, and I already tried to film some tutorials… it doesn’t work. Anyway, good job! I just wanna say that.


  8. Paulien says:

    Love this post! Glad you’re just being yourself and do what you love to do

  9. Lena says:

    Vlogging is definitely not for everyone. I follow this account on youtube and the owner does nice tutorials, but lately she decided to do a bit of vlogging and it’s just so horrible that if I didn’t like her tutorials, I would have unsubscribed already.

    Thank you for being honest about how you feel about vlogging. It’s always nice to watch my favorite gurus in videos where they feel comfortable and confident about making them!

  10. Mary Bloomy says:

    Just wow! Loved this post! You’re free, live what you live without the pressure of showing us your entire life! The most important is to put everything of yourself into your work and general videos, it makes no sense to vlog if you don’t feel confortable with it!
    I admire you!

  11. Gowthami says:

    Loved reading the post! xoxo

  12. Shaz says:

    Vloggen is echt overrated en vaak gebeurt er amper wat in zo’n filmpje. Blijf gewoon trouw aan jezelf en als het niet goed aanvoelt, dan moet je het zeker niet doen!

    Ik heb het gevoel dat veel mensen filmen om het filmen en niet echt 100% kunnen genieten van een trip omdat ze iedere keer hiermee bezig zijn.

  13. José says:

    Goed geschreven Nikkie!
    Liefs, José.

  14. Karin says:

    hi nikkie ! can you do “what’s in my purse ” and what’s your favorits hair stuff [ shampoo,oil, hair spary, Irons, Curlers , …] ?

  15. Anda Zelenca says:

    You are so funny! :)) Loved the post! Even though I would love your vlogs because I love your personality, I really understand your decision…vlogging isn’t easy!

    Hugs & kisses from Romania!

  16. Loesje85 says:

    I want your shoes!!!!!!!! Where is the ” discriptionbox” (what am i wearing part) :-(.

    Ow en had je daar echt een fortune teller voor nodig?? Kom op meis, luisteren naar je zelf! Maar het is leuk om je “innerlijke strijd” te lezen :-)

    Een fotoblog is natuurlijk ook leuk.


  17. Acycaa says:

    I like you. The first video I saw from you today was the perfect lipstick one…and, to be honest, I thought you make too much lip-faces…but just couldn’t stop watching….then I ended up watching 7 of your videos…and I don’t actually care about the things that bothered me at first. I guess it’s hard to talk in front of the camera while being aware how many people would see you on the internet. You seem honest, simpatic and funny. And your face is awesome…you’re very pretty. I also like the fact that you are not yet another boneheaded face on YouTube… SO…THUMBS UP GIRL…KEEP IT UP!

  18. Joy says:

    As far as I’m concerned, you can do no wrong in any video. But I get what you’re saying. I would feel totally awkward too. I hope you’ll maybe do more of the chit chat things, maybe mixed in with hauls and whatever… just because you are hilarious and I love listening to everything you have to say – make-up related or not!

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